i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
