yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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