need another drink. this is the easiest way
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
