Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
