ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
