why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
