Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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