i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
God, I missed his penis.
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