'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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