maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
