I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
