hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
