oh god the rape fog is back!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
