"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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