I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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