:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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