smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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