It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
