I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
