Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
