You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Randomize
