dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
