Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
