He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
