I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
