Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
