I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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