So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She's the barista slut.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
