I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize