Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
