my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How does it feel to date your dad?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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