It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
