You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
3pm strippers are depressing
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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