I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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