She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
