so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
