Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
