Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
