shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize