I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
