Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize