Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He felt like a one man threesome
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
