we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
