Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
