I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
