Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
