He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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