Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
