yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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