i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
