Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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