I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Please don't give away my fajitas
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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