It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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