To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I don't deserve a penis
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
