Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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