she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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