we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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