Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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