i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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