It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
