I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize